15 Things I Will Not Apologize For


One of the post powerful acknowledgments of our frailty and humanness is the apology, atoning for errors, regrets, sins. Seeking forgiveness. However, there also seems to be this sorry syndrome, that we apologize too much, too automatically, for who we are, or for stuff that really isn’t our fault, or to keep the peace, or to avoid conflict. We’re made to feel that we’re somehow broken.

sorry sorry2

That’s often me. In my desire to make every happy, to bend to my nurturing nature, I seemed to be always apologizing … when someone wasn’t happy, I took the blame, even when I knew it was irrational. I was nearly apologizing for apologizing.

Now, there’s a host of stuff that is my fault, where I legitimately need to apologize. Times of mea culpa, of being wrong and making mistakes, of missing the mark, of erring, of misjudging, mismanaging, miscommunication. Times I need to apologize for being snippy or sassy, for not weighing my words before I speak, for not putting myself in another’s shows, for not seeing with their vision. Times I need to apologize for being mean, or cantankerous, or selfish, or posting vague Facebook statuses. For mucking up, royally. Being messy.

It’s the right thing to do, apologizing when I bungle things; it’s not so right, apologizing for who I am.

  1. I will not apologize for loving. I will not apologize for being tenderhearted and mushy and gushy and gooey and huggy and saying “I love you”.
  2. I will not apologize for being needy – of affection and affirmation and chocolate and coffee and naps.
  3. I will not apologize for things beyond my control – for rain and snow and wind and politicians and Daylight Savings Time.
  4. I will not apologize for laughing until I snort, for having a bad hair day, for wearing my jammies past noon, of for ordering dessert.
  5. I will not apologize for needing help, for being crippled, for physical limitations {but I will say “thank you” instead, voraciously expressing my gratitude}.
  6. I will not apologize for being sensitive or vulnerable or sick or sad.
  7. I will not apologize for being weepy, for sobbing during the bad and the glad, for crying through books and movies and commercials, for dabbing my eyes at greeting cards and when cradling babies.
  8. I will not apologize for being hopeful, for believing, for trusting in goodness, forgiveness, redemption, and restoration.
  9. I will not apologize for being a Pollyanna or wholesome or optimistic, or for letting my heart run toward happy like a child runs toward puppies.
  10. I will not apologize for giving, for wanting the best for others, or for putting them first.
  11. I will not apologize for being lovey-dovey to children {especially grandchildren}—for adoring their presence, cuddles, smiles, laughter, stories, wonder,  artwork, boogers.
  12. I will not apologize for taking a break, or resting, or being quiet.
  13. I will not apologize for being confused and seeking counsel, for being disarmed by unexpected rejection.
  14. I will not apologize for being a Christian, for loving Jesus and obeying God’s Word, for being passionate in my beliefs, for holding convictions.
  15. I will not apologize for my personality {strengths and weaknesses}, for my heart {sensitive and generous}, for my nature {spunky and cheery}.


I am not broken.

Yes, I am messy. Yes, you are messy. Hey, we’re all messy humans.

But I am fearfully and wonderfully made {and so are you}. I am a workmanship. And being an extrovert doesn’t equal good and being an introvert doesn’t equal bad.

So I gotta stop the constant unnecessary apologizing.

I shouldn’t apologize for who I am.

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  • Reply Rachael March 18, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    This is beautiful and so encouraging! When we are constantly apologizing it takes the sincerity out of when we really need to say “I’m sorry.”

    • Reply Jama Bigger March 18, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      Thanks, Rachael! We all should stop apologizing for who we are, and start honoring, valuing, and loving ourselves. God has made us all special!

  • Reply Steve Wagner March 19, 2016 at 10:29 am

    Appropriate is a word that come to mind. Apologizing (or any other interaction) when appropriate.

    Nothing more appropriate than to say thank you for these thoughts and a great post.

    • Reply Jama Bigger March 19, 2016 at 12:55 pm

      And it’s appropriate that I say thank you, too, Steve, for your kind comments.

  • Reply audrey johnson March 19, 2016 at 8:35 pm

    Loved (and needed to hear) this Jama!

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