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Thanksgiving

Gracious Gratitude

Oh my, these last few years. We’ve all been through it. Can I get an “Amen” that we’ve gotten through it?

So, this Thanksgiving, I’m grateful to be getting through, grateful to be here, grateful for God, once again, saving my life following my serious medical issues of last year.

Even with all I’ve been through, all the physical challenges, all the emotional heartaches, I’m still a glass-half-full kind of person, a rah-rah, God-is-Faithful believer. I’ve learned to be a believer in giving thanks in all circumstances, in “natural” gratitude and in “gracious” gratitude.

As a college student with a minor in Humanities, I studied the writings of Jonathan Edwards, regarded as a great theologian and philosopher of British American Puritanism and a forerunner of the Great Awakening. He is best known for his sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God,” which he preached in 1741.

But he also wrote a book, The Religious Affections, where he distinguished between “natural” gratitude and “gracious” gratitude. Natural gratitude is an appreciation for good gifts—for things that make us happy, like life, family, employment, leisure, freedom, a warm bed, cold drinks, and sunshine. This kind of thankfulness may be displayed by “natural man,” those Edwards referred to as without God’s redeeming grace.

But gracious gratitude starts from a different place. Instead of beginning with WHAT God gives us, this gratitude begins with WHO God is and thanks Him for His character, goodness, love, and power, regardless of particular favors and enjoyments received. This, Edwards said, is evidence of the work of the Holy Spirit in a life. As we sit down to a Thanksgiving meal, it is perfectly understandable that we will thank God for all the benefits we enjoy, for all that we find to be favorable. But what are we to do with the disappointments and difficulties, the losses and sorrows of the past twelve months? The past two years? By nature, we may express gratitude for all that is pleasurable. Only by grace may we learn to “give thanks in all circumstances.”

Taking in the good and being grateful is not about always putting a happy shiny face on everything, nor is it about turning away from the hard things in life. It’s about nourishing gratitude — “natural” gratitude and “gracious” gratitude, for WHAT God gives and for WHO God is—refuges to which you can always return.

This year, especially, I’m all about thankfulness and gratefulness and saluting the goodness of God and the goodness of each day.

We can choose to be thankful and grateful, understanding the fragility of life that makes every moment so meaningful. We often waste too many moments immersing ourselves in needless distractions that steal our attention away from the things that actually matter. We should grasp the precious moments of this life and stop being distracted with the things that don’t really matter.

David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, wrote, “The root of joy is gratefulness … It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” And that Bible verse which tells us to be grateful “in all circumstances.”

We decide what to look for and what we see. We decide our focus. It’s about learning, studying the ways of contentment and appreciation. I know that by slowing down, by looking differently, I choose to focus on the light, the positive, the greatness of God, and all the reasons I have to be eternally grateful.

Start to see the good, the happy, even in the small in WHAT God gives. Actively search for those moments, develop a posture of looking for and of finding happy. Cultivate this vision: seeing those moments and being grateful for the happy day moments.

Then remember the grace of WHO God is. His character, His love, His holiness. Understand that every day, He can make a difference; His love makes a difference. That life is a gift. That love is a gift. That each day we awaken and breathe is a gift.

And I will be grateful. With natural gratitude. With gracious gratitude.

Essential to living a life with joy, confidence, faith, and hope is remembering to be grateful.

By understanding that every moment of every day in every life does not have to be happy.

Only ONE moment does. ONE glimpse. ONE second. ONE breath.

And choosing to find it. Choosing to hold onto it. Choosing to claim it to redeem any hard messy heartbreaking sorrowful day. It’s our choice. Being naturally grateful and graciously grateful. For life.

 

We Can All Be Grateful

With all I’ve been through, all the physical challenges, all the emotional heartaches, I’m still a glass-half-full kind of person, a rah-rah, God-is-Faithful believer. Many of you, however, are wired a bit differently; you may have to work a little harder to see the sunnyside of life. We’re not all programmed to be sunshiny in the dark places. We all can’t be that peppy bright person all the time if it isn’t in our making.

But the good news is that we call all learn to be more grateful. This takes time and focus and awareness. Fortunately, finding those “happy moments” and that gratitude can come from making little tweaks in our lives. So, why not try out these little changes* that could help you become a little more cheerful, a little more grateful, a little more sunshiny, a little more thanksgiving-y.

DO SOMETHING NICE

  • Go on the compassion offensive. Grab the initiative and deliberately choose a policy of being kind.
  • Aim to comfort those in sorrow and encourage those who are despondent.
  • Throw gratitude around like glitter.
  • Let’s love people. All people. Because all people are worthy.
  • Give your love away. Make others feel needed and loved.
  • Be the one who makes others smile.
  • Don’t be quarrelsome, but be kind to others.

PAY ATTENTION

  • Notice today the small things that you normally take for granted.
  • Never grow tired of doing what’s right.
  • When others talk, listen to understand, not to respond.
  • There are so many wonderful things to be thankful for.
  • Learn to let your mistakes be lessons and not losses.
  • Note to self: It may be hard, but hard is not impossible.

note-to-self

SPEAK OUT

  • Let your heart be glad; let your tongue speak happy words.
  • God blesses us so we can bless others.
  • Spend more time talking about your joys than your troubles.
  • May God’s love have the first and last word in everything we do.

UNDERSTAND

  • The result of forgiving is a life lived for God.
  • Don’t be trapped in a past memory or a future hope, but live in the present.
  • Sometimes good things take longer.
  • Don’t stumble over those things that are behind you.
  • You are not your weight, your height, your face, your age; you are your heart, your compassion, your humanity.
  • Deciding to be happy is good for your health.
  • God’s promises stand sure no matter what our doubts may be.
  • Don’t struggle to be what “others” like – be who you are.
  • The only reason I’ve made it this far is that God is with me.

the-only-reason-ive-made-it-this-far-is-that-god-is-with-me

*Posts from Happy Day Moment Facebook Page (September 2016). Like and follow my daily encouragements!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Handful of happy November 2015

Let’s pause and appreciate the things we have, not the things we don’t.

When it comes to the month of November, the moving from one season to another, the grasp of Thanksgiving, let’s hold fast to that thought … appreciating What. We. Have.

And the blessings of …

Love. Grace. Calm. Encouragement.

Here is the handful of posts from my Happy Day Moments Facebook Page and my Twitter feed from November that had the most likes, the most comments, the most shares. {Go ahead, tweet the ones that touch your heart.} 🙂

Love and kindness have transformative power

Communicate your love and appreciation while others are still around to hear it.

There will be water poured on your thirsty land and there will be grace for your desperate need.

Although you cannot calm the storm, you can remain calm in the storm.

Choose to be an encourager. A win for others. A win for you.

It’s not our job to change who we are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being.

Don’t wait for some special day; celebrate each day as special.

Relationships are what matter most. Not possessions. Not pursuits.

Life is tough, my dear, but so are you.

Do not be arrogant and unconcerned; and do not neglect the poor and needy.

***

And approaching Christmas, let’s hold onto this …

The evidence of a grateful heart is generosity and unselfishness.

 

We can still give thanks

It started on November First when almost every other person on social media began a countdown to Thanksgiving with lists of what they were “thankful” for. And that’s all good. I, too, post a daily Happy Day Moment on my Facebook page, and my website tagline is “living with gratitude.”

So I’m all about thankfulness and gratefulness and saluting the goodness of each day.

And yet, these days I find myself thinking about this Thanksgiving that will pull and stretch and weigh on the emotions of so many I know. Especially, I’m thinking about those friends who see that empty chair.

The father not at the table. The husband not carving the turkey. The empty chair.

I think of Terri and Audrey. I think of Molly and Linda. I think of them facing this Thanksgiving, how very sad they must be and how much they would want to give the world’s biggest hug. Just one more time. To their husband. To their father.

For some, the loss was sudden, that shocking unexpected death.  For some, it was a knowing, a waiting, a grasping for more time.

For these friends, their gratitude on this Thanksgiving will have to look backward. To what was and not what is or will be. It will have to be the hard choice to still give thanks, even as they see that empty chair.

To still give thanks.

This is what I find myself thinking …

When we see that empty chair.

wrinkled handWhen there is such raw emotion that the washcloth, the sunlight through the window, the wrinkled hand brings us to tears and we choke and can’t breathe …

Then we can still give thanks.

When there is such loneliness that it cuts to the quick, right under our ribs, with razor sharpness, and we stare into the vacant space where we long for them to be …

Then we can still give thanks.

When there are so many days littered with problems and obstacles and hard things that we stumble and fall and bleed and long to be held …

Then we can still give thanks.

Because this giving of thanks is a choice.

We can choose to be thankful and grateful, understanding the fragility of life that make every moment so meaningful. We often waste too many moments immersing ourselves in needless distractions that steal our attention away from the things that actually matter. We should grasp the precious moments of this life and stop being distracted with the things that don’t really matter.

Thinking of Terri and Audrey and Molly and Linda, I have a new clarity of what matters most. That what we’ll never regret is time spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. That days of love and caring and giving are the best days. That family days are the very best days. That we remember to express words of love every day because we never know when it might be our last opportunity.

Life is short, indeed. And it gets shorter. We can’t always wait for the perfect moment.  So let’s live generously, with no room for regrets, or wondering what could have been.

Today’s moments quickly become tomorrow’s memories. Let’s appreciate today for what it is and make our time count.  Let’s give the hug, make the apology, unpack the suitcase. Let’s make the days memorable.  Let’s live life so that we never have to regret the chances we never took, the love we never let in, and the gifts we never gave out.

We can still give thanks.

Even if we see that empty chair on this Thanksgiving. Or we know those who will be pushing through a loss or loneliness, let us love more. Appreciate more. Return more.

I’m thinking: Let us focus on doing the things that will matter forever. Understanding the value of time. Esteeming relationships. Making room for forgiveness and grace. Living with gratitude.

And just loving. Because in the end, there is nothing else.