Browsing Tag

grateful

Project HDM: 10 Years

Ten years.  Yes, it’s been a decade of posting a Happy Day Moment on my Facebook page. April 1, 2010 to April 1, 2020.  Yes, that’s 3,650 consecutive days of discovering and recording a “moment” each day that reminded me to be grateful, to live with gratitude. {Yes, you can applaud/throw confetti/send chocolates and/or vacation packages …. 😊}

Why did I begin this social media project?

With so many Facebook posts that were negative, complaining, even whining, I was determined to use my status as a more positive platform.

My goal for this project was to make myself focus on some “moment” during each day where I could be positive, thankful, and “happy” that I was alive. To slow down. Just for a bit. And be grateful.

Throughout these postings, I’ve experienced days with moments of love, joy, celebration, laughter, happiness – unexpected moments. But I’ve also had some days that were really crummy and achy and some that were soaked in sadness, loss, sickness, grief and disappointments.

In every day, yes, every day, however, I found that “moment” that I could call forth as “happy.”

This experiment has been profound for me. For most of my life I’ve had a glass-half-full attitude, even when a diving accident as a 13-year-old left me a diagnosed quadriplegic. I’ve learned what being grateful can do, embracing each day. Life can be hard. I know.  But every day that I choose to look for the happy, the good, the blessing, the love, the joy – shifts my heart and my head into a better place. A place of gratitude.

Quite simply, it’s become my tool to keep track of the good things in life. No matter how difficult and defeating my day can sometimes feel, there is always a “moment,” something to feel grateful about. We can all be grateful.

While it’s tough to find that “moment,” that “something” to be grateful about during a rough patch, it’s not just another “easy to say, but hard to do” action – it can actually help rescue you during a storm.

Even more than that, regularly finding a “moment” and identifying the good things in your life can help prepare and strengthen you to deal with unexpected heartache and pain.

We all have own challenges and difficult days. Yet, even in my darkest days, my instinct is to feel grateful for the things that I do have and for the things that are going well. I let gratitude be the doorway to hope; once hopeful, I find strength and the will to take one small step that moves me to better and easier times.

It’s God’s way. It’s who we can choose to be. Grateful.

For in writing good words, for finding “happy” moments and sharing them, I’ve discovered that I’m more thoughtful, more encouraging, more inspired, more aware – of the goodness of life all around me.

I know it’s rather grandiose of me to think that my small little space, my Facebook presence can make a big change in how others think about gratitude, but if I’ve learned anything in the last ten years, it’s that when it comes to talking about living with gratitude, and about how we use our words – we can’t do it enough.

Words. Matter. Even on Facebook.

Words we write. Words we say.

Every year has its negatives, its disappointments, its regrets, its sorrows, its pains, its losses.

Yet, every year (if you choose to discover) has its positives, its joys, its celebrations, its wins.

Some years have more milestones than others: personal physical mental professional relational emotional financial spiritual. Some years prayers are answered; some years there is more waiting.

This identifying and reporting a Happy Day Moment has become a spiritual practice, a habit…and my super power is believing that we can all find a Happy Day Moment. The daily practice, the discipline, the routine of choosing to look for the positive, being grateful, not always focusing on the negative, has changed me. Forever. Strengthened me to face … anything.

I take note of my gratitude for a moment in the day when things are good, or I feel blessed, or I merely remember that I’m alive. Mostly, the moments are tiny and commonplace, not usually moments of grandeur or enormous successes. They are moments of small human connection, that smile, that morning kiss, or a sudden bit of humor, or a child’s laughter, or the elderly couple holding hands, or the glimpse of a cardinal on a branch, or even a moment of peace during a hectic day. Then, sometimes they really are monumental moments: 30 years married; 35 years married; births of grandchildren; husband’s retirement; new job; son’s career and new home; Cubs win the World Series.

Throughout these years, however, I’ve noticed that I’m capable of finding happy moments smack in the middle of the tough and painful and hurting and grieving moments. The comfort from a friend when I’m sad can be a happy moment, right in the midst of a very hard time. The kindness of someone bringing a cup of coffee when I’ve had a stressful and exhausting day can be a happy moment. The prayers from those who know my heartache can be a happy moment.

Yes, life is still good and there can still be gratitude, even when difficult stuff happens. This practice doesn’t shield me from the hard times or a denial that dark times will always exist, but acknowledging my “moment” brings me unshakable joy and gratitude for the miracle that is my life.

Becoming aware of a happy day moment takes a personal effort, paying attention to the instances of the blessings of life, shining a spotlight on the small good things.

It’s impossible to think negatively when you’re focusing on the positive.

It’s impossible to have an attitude of lack when you’re embracing abundance.

It’s impossible to be judgmental, resentful, or quarrelsome when you’re thankful for your relationships.

It’s impossible to miss the lessons when you give thanks for your difficulties and obstacles.

It’s impossible to miss the moment when you’re present and grounded in each one as it comes.

I know I can keep my humor, my perspective, and my patience regardless of how my day (or life) evolves.

The key is gratitude.

After years of leaning into gratitude, I know I’ve only scratched the surface of this powerful principle. I realize my pursuit of gratitude isn’t an accident, as much as preparation for what has come my way during these last few years. Preparing to see me through – because when it comes to the struggles of life, we need gratitude to be our companion.

Because this is what happens:

Words of gratitude lift us above circumstance.

Sometimes the wall of difficulties we face appears too tall to scale. But the presence of gratitude lifts and carries us. We become stronger, more agile, infused with what we need, not just to face the barrier, but to search for a way around or over that we hadn’t considered before.

Words of gratitude refocus our attention.

They change our perspective.  We’re never off on the wrong foot when we step out in gratitude. We can’t think negatively when we focus on the positive. We’re less judgmental, resentful, or divisive when we’re thankful for our relationships (especially the complicated ones). Sometimes it’s easy to focus on our hurts or sorrows and miss all of the other places that good things are happening.  It’s possible for good things and hard things to co-exist in our lives. We show wisdom when we can focus on being thankful and noticing the good, instead of concentrating on the bad.

Words of gratitude bring us joy.

Those who live in gratitude have the most joyful lives. It’s impossible to miss the joy when we’re on the lookout for blessings. We won’t miss out on the moments when we’re present and rooted in each one as it comes.

Words are powerful. Even words written in a Facebook post.

Let’s make our words a powerful happy mission.

Let’s unleash the power of gratitude.

We Can All Be Grateful

With all I’ve been through, all the physical challenges, all the emotional heartaches, I’m still a glass-half-full kind of person, a rah-rah, God-is-Faithful believer. Many of you, however, are wired a bit differently; you may have to work a little harder to see the sunnyside of life. We’re not all programmed to be sunshiny in the dark places. We all can’t be that peppy bright person all the time if it isn’t in our making.

But the good news is that we call all learn to be more grateful. This takes time and focus and awareness. Fortunately, finding those “happy moments” and that gratitude can come from making little tweaks in our lives. So, why not try out these little changes* that could help you become a little more cheerful, a little more grateful, a little more sunshiny, a little more thanksgiving-y.

DO SOMETHING NICE

  • Go on the compassion offensive. Grab the initiative and deliberately choose a policy of being kind.
  • Aim to comfort those in sorrow and encourage those who are despondent.
  • Throw gratitude around like glitter.
  • Let’s love people. All people. Because all people are worthy.
  • Give your love away. Make others feel needed and loved.
  • Be the one who makes others smile.
  • Don’t be quarrelsome, but be kind to others.

PAY ATTENTION

  • Notice today the small things that you normally take for granted.
  • Never grow tired of doing what’s right.
  • When others talk, listen to understand, not to respond.
  • There are so many wonderful things to be thankful for.
  • Learn to let your mistakes be lessons and not losses.
  • Note to self: It may be hard, but hard is not impossible.

note-to-self

SPEAK OUT

  • Let your heart be glad; let your tongue speak happy words.
  • God blesses us so we can bless others.
  • Spend more time talking about your joys than your troubles.
  • May God’s love have the first and last word in everything we do.

UNDERSTAND

  • The result of forgiving is a life lived for God.
  • Don’t be trapped in a past memory or a future hope, but live in the present.
  • Sometimes good things take longer.
  • Don’t stumble over those things that are behind you.
  • You are not your weight, your height, your face, your age; you are your heart, your compassion, your humanity.
  • Deciding to be happy is good for your health.
  • God’s promises stand sure no matter what our doubts may be.
  • Don’t struggle to be what “others” like – be who you are.
  • The only reason I’ve made it this far is that God is with me.

the-only-reason-ive-made-it-this-far-is-that-god-is-with-me

*Posts from Happy Day Moment Facebook Page (September 2016). Like and follow my daily encouragements!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Handful of happy December 2015

Kindness = life’s glitter. Sprinkle that stuff everywhere.

We gotta do it.

We gotta be kind.

And we gotta sprinkle it all around.

Kindness. And gratefulness. And looking to the good. In ourselves. In others.

Follow me on Twitter  and my Happy Day Moments Facebook Page as I think and post about these good and kind and grateful things of life.

Here is the handful of posts from December that had the most likes, the most comments, the most shares.

Most journeys are easier when someone holds your hand.

Otters holding hands2

 

Life will always have obstacles. But you can decide to be happy anyway.

Sometimes being a kid is hard. Sometimes being a grown up is hard. Let’s all be nice to each other.

May our spirits be filled with God’s courage and our hearts with His love.

We often feel most grateful when we use our lives in ways that lift another person.

Hope doesn’t come from people or circumstances or situations. Our hope comes from God.

Focus your thinking on something you’re grateful for. Over and over again.

 

Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. Tolerate each other in an atmosphere large with love.

Smile and speak kindly when you’re working, when shopping, when meeting strangers, when seeing friends.

We don’t repair fissures in relationships by ignoring them; we repair through forgiveness and communication.

Extending mercy and grace helps heal the tangled heart.

 

Blessings upon you in the new year! #happydaymoment

Handful of happy November 2015

Let’s pause and appreciate the things we have, not the things we don’t.

When it comes to the month of November, the moving from one season to another, the grasp of Thanksgiving, let’s hold fast to that thought … appreciating What. We. Have.

And the blessings of …

Love. Grace. Calm. Encouragement.

Here is the handful of posts from my Happy Day Moments Facebook Page and my Twitter feed from November that had the most likes, the most comments, the most shares. {Go ahead, tweet the ones that touch your heart.} 🙂

Love and kindness have transformative power

Communicate your love and appreciation while others are still around to hear it.

There will be water poured on your thirsty land and there will be grace for your desperate need.

Although you cannot calm the storm, you can remain calm in the storm.

Choose to be an encourager. A win for others. A win for you.

It’s not our job to change who we are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being.

Don’t wait for some special day; celebrate each day as special.

Relationships are what matter most. Not possessions. Not pursuits.

Life is tough, my dear, but so are you.

Do not be arrogant and unconcerned; and do not neglect the poor and needy.

***

And approaching Christmas, let’s hold onto this …

The evidence of a grateful heart is generosity and unselfishness.

 

A gob(ble) of grateful

It’s not happy moments that make us grateful,

but gratefulness that makes happy moments.

A search for “grateful” in my blog posts reveals that word appears 53 times, and that doesn’t include the word “gratitude,” which appears 118 times. So, here’s my GRATEFUL recap……

My goal for this project [of posting a daily Happy Day Moment of Facebook] was to make myself focus on some “moment” during each day where I could be positive, thankful, and “happy” that I was alive. To slow down. Just for a bit. And be grateful.

I’ve learned what being grateful can do, embracing each day. Life can be hard. I know.  But every day that I choose to look for the happy, the good, the blessing, the love, the joy – shifts my heart and my head into a better place. A place of gratitude.

Look for those moments. Listen for them. Wait for them. Be grateful for them.

What started as a simple essay I was asked to write morphed into a Facebook project and is now a website. The idea of choosing to be grateful, to find a “moment” even in the worst day, that was happy, that was thankful.

Because there is always a moment, no matter how small, no matter how dark the day, that is worthy of being grateful.

Because when you’re grateful, you increase your happiness by 25%!

You’ll be surprised how much easier it is to be grateful when you make a daily effort to think about good and not bad; praises and not pain; kindness and not meanness; acceptance and not rejection.

A grateful mindset can help you navigate life’s turbulence.

Grateful people are happy.

Taking in the good and being grateful is not about always putting a happy shiny face on everything, nor is it about turning away from the hard things in life. It’s about nourishing gratitude, your inner well-being, contentment, and peace—refuges to which you can always return.

So I’m all about thankfulness and gratefulness and saluting the goodness of each day.

We can choose to be thankful and grateful, understanding the fragility of life that makes every moment so meaningful. We often waste too many moments immersing ourselves in needless distractions that steal our attention away from the things that actually matter. We should grasp the precious moments of this life and stop being distracted with the things that don’t really matter.

Grateful eyes can see grace and goodness, even in complicated and thorny packages.

Catalog the kindnesses of each day. Look at what you have. You have much to be grateful for.

As I’m intentionally learning that “Living with Gratitude” changes everything, changes the way I think.

Changes the way I see things. Changes me. It’s not that I’ve never been grateful before.  But I seemed to focus my thanks when it was easy. Now I’m learning to give thanks, to live EVERY day with a sense of gratitude. Even when my heart has those hard white cold days.

David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, wrote, “The root of joy is gratefulness … It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” And the Bible tells us to be grateful “in all circumstances.”

Be joyful. Be grateful. Always.

That’s one reason why I post “Happy Day Moments” daily on my Facebook page (and on my personal Facebook page) – to live intentionally with a grateful heart, to plant words and messages of love, hope, confidence, faith and encouragement.

Every day that you wake up healthy, be grateful.

Living with gratitude, discovering a Happy Moment takes practice, believe me. But you can learn to be happy (even for a bit a fleck a jiffy of a time) each day by simply being grateful.

We all get to decide how happy we want to be. Because everyone gets to decide how grateful they are willing to be.

One of the lessons I learned in any hard sad dark season is that it’s important to stop and breathe deeply and look around me and choose to embrace a beautiful life, a grateful life, a happy life, whatever that might look like in any season of my life.

Look out the window. Just look for 30 seconds. Look and really see. Then pause and be grateful for the looking.

Right now is the best time for loving and for being grateful.

There is always, under the mess of life, something to be grateful for.

It’s easy to be cynical; it’s brave to be grateful.

Being grateful is the shortest and surest way to being happy.

Spend intentional time being grateful and you will ground yourself in God’s love.

My first real step towards becoming a “happyologist” came as a teenager when I dove into that swimming pool on that summer day and broke my neck and became a quadriplegic. There was a choice before me: become bitter or become better. {Read more of the story here.} Will I focus on what I lost? Or will I focus on what I can gain? Focus on who I was? Or who I can become? Could I still be grateful, even in the midst of this life-altering circumstance?

I decided to live with gratefulness. I chose happy.

We decide what to look for and what we see. We decide our focus.  It’s about learning, studying the ways of contentment and appreciation.  As a happyologist, I know that by slowing down, by looking differently, I choose to focus on the light, the positive, and all the reasons I have to be eternally grateful.

Start to see the good, the happy, even in the small.  Actively search for those moments, develop a posture of looking for and of finding happy. Cultivate this vision: seeing those moments, and being grateful for the happy day moments.

Be patience when you have little; be grateful when you have more than enough.

I want to understand that every day love makes a difference. That life is a gift. That love is a gift. That each day I awake and breathe is a gift.

It’s the only gift that I have right now. And my only appropriate response is gratefulness.

When we view our situation through the lens of gratefulness, instead of a self-centered mind-set, we have the potential to be happy in spite of circumstances.

You’ll have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t grateful for what you already have.

Focusing on finding a “happy/grateful” moment in each day has made me powerful and positive and able to conquer disappointment and pain and innumerable hard places.

Some days we wake up with body aches and heart aches and life is bleak and the truth is we’re tired and we know we just may carry sadness all day long. And then. We shift our focus, we look above, we refocus and we become grateful for love and for a God who can take our aches and replace them with joy, who can be light in darkness, a compass for direction ….even in the midst of storms and difficult places.

That season of minimal color, stark branches, when the world feels forsaken, will become a season of blossoms.

And I will be grateful.

For every season holds something of value. The buried seed blooms.

Essential to living a life with joy, confidence, faith, and hope is remembering to be grateful.

By understanding that every moment of every day in every life does not have to be happy.

Only ONE moment does. ONE glimpse. ONE second. ONE breath.

And choosing to find it. Choosing to hold onto it. Choosing to claim it to redeem any hard messy heartbreaking sorrowful day. It’s our choice. Being grateful. For life.