Let’s choose

Moments. That steaming cup of coffee in your hand. That smell of bacon floating through the house (even better, that taste of bacon). That waggle of the basset hound on your neighbor’s leash. That fiery sunset blazing across the evening sky. That giggle of the toddler in the shopping cart in front of you. That mother cooing and calming her infant in the diaper aisle. That simple “sweet dreams” uttered at the close of day. Moments. To. Notice. Moments to be thankful. Moments to live in awareness.

You can do it. You can pause and notice and grab onto the precious moments of this life and stop being distracted with the things that don’t really matter. You can live with gratitude. Even in the hard places.

For this month of November, this month of Thanksgiving, let’s choose to be fully alive, to “SEE” [detect, observe, witness, recognize, comprehend, appreciate] the Moments in our daily lives. For these thirty days, let’s choose …

To focus on doing the things that will matter forever.

To see and feel and listen and touch and taste.

To attend to relationships.

To give grace and forgiveness instead of anger and blame.

To forego judgment and embrace understanding.

To regard kindness and patience and faith as essentials.

To surrender the need to always be right.

To understand the value of time, that life is short.

To silence distractions.

To realize that some risks are too important not to take.

To stop worrying about failing and to start doing.

To Love because in the end, there is nothing else.

To. Keep. Loving.

In. All. The. Moments.

For this month of November, when the hourglass of 2020 is sifting to an end, let’s choose to …

Be willing to love.

Be willing to be loved.

Be willing to know.

Be willing to not know.

Be willing to say yes.

Be willing to say no.

Be willing to protect.

Be willing to let go.

Be willing to hold onto.

Be willing to rejoice.

Be willing to pray.

Be willing to be thankful.

Let’s choose. Love. Let’s see love. Let’s be love.

God’s Love.

Happy Advent messages

On Thanksgiving night, I was in my bed, cozy and thankful, my tummy still full of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and wild rice. As I thought about the calendar turning to December and the Advent season, I asked God how I could share these four weeks of Advent with my four grandchildren. He said to my heart, “Share your favorite Bible verses with them.” So, that’s what I’m doing. I told them, “Expect a message from Jobu for the next four weeks.”

Advent is the period of four Sundays and weeks before Christmas and means ‘Coming’ in Latin. This is the coming of Jesus into the world. I wanted to use the four Sundays and weeks of Advent to share my love for each grandchild and help us remember the real meaning of Christmas. God’s LOVE coming to us in Jesus. Advent is a time of expectant waiting, knowing fully the amazing gift God is about to deliver and yet, at the same time, a period of slowing down to savor the season. It’s an opportunity to set aside special moments to fully experience the joy and the miracle of Christmas, to focus on Christ’s birth.

These are my special moments for my four grandchildren, what I wrote in their weekly Advent “messages”:

December 2. Week One: You are strong.

You can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you. Philippians 4:13

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Ephesians 6:10

The Lord is your strength and your shield; your heart trusts in him, and he helps you. Psalm 28:7

December 9. Week Two: You believe. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may overflow with hope. Romans 15:13

You believe in him. You are filled with a joy that cannot be explained. And that joy is full of glory. 1 Peter 1:8

Jesus said to him. “All things are possible for the one who believes.” Mark 9:23

The Scriptures tell us that no one who believes in Christ will ever be disappointed. Romans 10:11

December 16. Week Three: You are prayed for (by Jobu!)

This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more. Philippians 1:9

I haven’t stop praying for you, asking God to give you a wise mind and spirit. Colossians 1:9

I know your soul is doing well and I pray that you are doing fine in every way.  3 John 2

I can’t stop thanking God for you, every time I pray, I think of you and give thanks. Ephesians 1:15

December 23. Week Four: You are loved. (by God!)

God says, “I have loved you with a love that lasts forever. I have kept on loving you with a kindness that never fails. Jeremiah 31:3

God’s love has been poured into your heart through the Holy Spirit who has been given to you. Romans 5:5

But God is rich in mercy, and he loves you very much. Ephesians 2:4

Lord, show your love to us as we puts our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

As I cherish each of my dear grandchildren, may they cherish these Advents messages with scriptures which I so cherish.

Take in the Good

I was having a rough go of it not too long ago. A rough go of life. Things I wanted to happen, didn’t. Things I wanted to say, couldn’t. Things I had worked at, failed. No need for details. We’ve all been there. It happens to all of us, doesn’t it? Rough patches. And some last longer than we thought we could endure. What I had to keep reminding myself, however, was to take in the good, take in the blessing, take in the positive that can always be found in the rough patches.

Count Our Blessings

It’s easy to get caught up in the rough/disappointing/unhappy/bad stuff that happens to us and that’s EVERYWHERE around us these days. So depressing! So much negativity. So much turmoil. So much grief. However, if we focus only on all the heartache, the weight of it all will surely crush us. Rather, instead of examining all the things that are going wrong, that are distressing, why not think about all the things are going right? Counting our blessings. Because we all have something to be thankful for. Loss can open the heart, regret can bring restoration, anxiety can alert us to threats, and anger can spotlight wrongs to be righted.

Take in the good; take in the blessings.

Why it’s good to take in the good

Neuropsychologist Dr. Rick Hanson says that “Given the negativity bias of the brain, it takes an active effort to internalize positive experiences and heal negative ones. When you tilt toward what’s positive, you’re actually righting a neurological imbalance.”  And, happily, guess what? This builds stronger immune and cardiovascular systems, as well as increasing optimism, resilience, and resourcefulness.

Focusing on what’s good, what’s wholesome, and then taking in that good naturally, increases the positive emotions flowing through our minds each day. Dr. Barbara L. Fredrickson, a leading scholar in the study of emotion and positive psychology, has shown that positive emotions don’t just feel good in the moment, but have long-term benefits. They lift our moods; they increase optimism, resilience, and resourcefulness; and they help counteract the effects of painful experiences, including trauma. It’s a positive cycle: Good feelings today increase the likelihood of good feelings tomorrow.

Taking in the good is not about putting a happy shiny, Pollyanna face on everything. It’s about turning away from the hard things in life. It’s about nourishing our hearts, our inner well-being, nurturing our contentment and peace—shelters during hard times where we can always return.

Take in the good; take in the positive.

Some things I know for sure

1) We don’t always choose our circumstances. But we always choose how we are in those circumstances. It isn’t as much about our circumstances as what we do with them.

2) We see what we expect to see. Look for good, and you will find good. Begin to see the good, to develop a posture of looking and of finding the positive, and you will find joy, you will find blessings. And we may come to realize that the most loved are often the small moments. If we keep our eyes open, we’ll discover that the good is all around us.

Continue to think about what is good and worthy of praise. Think about what is true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected. ~ Philippians 4:8

 

Happy Day Moment Tip

HDM Tip: Look for something to appreciate in this moment, where you are right now

“How are you going to live today?” What will you see? What will you notice, beyond yourself and your own circumstances?

For me, the most important thing is to live with gratitude. Yes, I know, we all get wrapped up in our own lives, in our own busyness, in our own situations. But when it comes down to it, our lives become richer, fuller, when we open our eyes, our ears, our hearts, and discover some moment to appreciate about each day.

And there is always a happy moment to discover, even when we think we’re in the middle of the most boring day, or the most painful circumstance.

Finding something to appreciate in every day is about accepting the full truth of the present moment, focusing our minds on the positive aspects of a situation.

When my Dad died last year, my Mom faced a new kind of situation, a future without the man she had loved and been married to for 63 years. She faced grief and loneliness. But here are some things she did:

  • She did not deny the darkness but chose not to live in it.

“People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God.” -Henri J.M. Nouwen, Return of the Prodigal Son

  • She felt love and gratitude for all the memories she and Dad shared, even the hard years of Dad’s dementia.
  • She felt hope and gratitude because she knew that one day she would rejoice with Dad in heaven.
  • She noticed others and looked beyond her own circumstances, choosing to give herself to loving and encouraging and ministering God’s peace and comfort to others.

Every day my Mom carries Dad’s love with her. And she will miss him every day of her life. Our whole family will. But she lives in the light; she appreciates the moments; she lives with gratitude, and that covers all her grief and loneliness.

Finding something to appreciate, a Happy Day Moment, even in those hard places and challenging circumstances, involves looking beyond those things that we didn’t choose, weren’t prepared for, and perhaps didn’t want. Instead of looking at the ways situations are hard or disappointing or bad, we can choose to focus on the things that call forth gratitude.

The key: understanding that even in the dark, there are stars. The positive emotions that arise when we identify what we appreciate, what we love, are life-changing. Gratitude, love, hope, optimism, compassion, awe, the joy of God — these all make us healthier, happier, and more satisfied with our lives.

The more you do something deliberately over time, the better shot you have at it actually working. Like finding light in darkness. Like finding something to appreciate, like living with gratitude. Like discovering a “moment” each day to appreciate.

 

Take action: Find something to appreciate about the situation you are in.

Join the discussion: Tell me about something you appreciate about today. Share in the comments or discuss on Facebook here.

 

3,000! A Milestone

It’s been a while! The line from The Princess Bride — the book, not the movie — keeps running through my mind: “What with one thing and another, three years passed.”

So, it hasn’t been exactly three years since my last blog post, but it has been three months. All the stuff of 2018. Exhausting. I can’t even.

Although posting on my website has been as saggy as my granny batwings, posting a daily Happy Day Moment on my Facebook has been as toned as my friend’s marathon-running bod. I have big feelings about this habit, this commitment to find and write a Happy Day Moment … this focus on living with gratitude.

This Happy Day Moment challenge, which I began on April 1, 2010, has now reached a milestone: #3,000. Yes, that’s 3,000 consecutive days of discovering and recording a “moment” each day that reminded me to be grateful. {Yes, you can applaud/throw confetti/send chocolates and/or vacation packages …. 😊}

I’ve realized throughout these last eight years that gratitude is like most desirable traits and qualities in that it’s not enough to simply decide to be grateful – we must actively practice it to cement its place in our lives.

There are many reasons why gratitude is such a desirable quality, aside from its inherent goodness. Let me assure you, finding a Happy Day Moment, the simple daily act of being grateful, has had a big impact on my health and happiness. It only takes a few minutes a day to choose to recall, to discover a HDM, but it can give me a lasting mood boost that takes me from feeling “okay” to feeling “great” and feeling “blessed.”

What is a Happy Day Moment?

Although I use Facebook to record my Happy Day Moments, you can write them in a notebook or journal if you choose. I’m encouraging you to try it! Begin to catalog a daily blessing, a daily “happy” moment!

Quite simply, it’s become my tool to keep track of the good things in life. No matter how difficult and defeating my day can sometimes feel, there is always a “moment,” something to feel grateful about. We can all be grateful.

While it’s tough to find that “moment,” that “something” to be grateful about during a rough patch, it’s not just another “easy to say, but hard to do” action – it can actually help rescue you during a storm.

Even more than that, regularly finding a “moment” and identifying the good things in your life can help prepare and strengthen you to deal with unexpected heartache and pain.

We all have own challenges and difficult days. Yet, even in my darkest days, my instinct is to feel grateful for the things that I do have and for the things that are going well. I let gratitude be the doorway to hope; once hopeful, I find strength and the will to take one small step that moves me to better and easier times.

It’s God’s way. It’s who we can choose to be. Grateful.

Discovering a Happy Day Moment

Your HDM is a personal endeavor that must be unique to you and your life. I’ve written about some ways that I discover “moments.”

It’s extremely simple to find your own Happy Day Moment: simply write down (or post on your Facebook/social media) the thing you are grateful for on a daily basis. Simply start noting the moment or things you notice and appreciate.

  • Coffee with a friend? Happy Day Moment it!
  • Cubs win!? Happy Day Moment it!
  • Eating popcorn? Happy Day Moment it!
  • Chocolate in the house? Happy Day Moment it!
  • That film with Benedict Cumberbatch? Happy Day Moment it!
  • Spouse killed a ginormous spider? You guessed it – Happy Day Moment it!

It really is that easy.

But try this: Use your senses! Use your heart!

  • Seeing … The sunrise out your window … A quick text from a loved one simply checking in on you … A child’s smile. … An elderly couple holding hands while walking at the mall.
  • Feeling … That morning smooch from your spouse … The warm embrace of a friend … The comfort of slipping into bed with freshly washed sheets.
  • Tasting … The strawberries you had for lunch … Tacos, oh the happy tastebuds rejoice for tacos … Cotton candy and its deliciously sweetness and how the fluffiness in your mouth feels funny. But good funny.
  • Smelling … Bacon frying, as a great man named Homer once said: “mmmmmmmmmmmm, Bacon” … Popcorn, always popcorn … Lilacs blooming in the spring.
  • Hearing … A colleague say, “Great job!” … The sound of rain falling on your window at night, calming and relaxing you … Your playlist with the songs you absolutely need to hear.
  • Knowing … The joy that Jesus loves you each and every day … The peace of having enough food and a roof over your head … That you made it through the day without crying/coughing/sneezing.

Your HDM doesn’t have to be deep. What you are grateful for can be as simple as “family” or “the new book or movie I recently enjoyed” or “this morning’s breakfast.” What you are grateful for will differ from everyone else.

  • Be conscious about your new attitude of gratitude.
  • Don’t wait for the “right time.” It’s fine to write something early in the day!
  • Focus on people rather than things. It’s okay to be thankful for your smartphone or your car, but the joy you receive from relationships should dwarf your fondness for electronics!

Benefits of Happy Day Moment

Identifying a Happy Day Moment can give you a new perspective on what is important to you and what you truly appreciate in your life. By noting what you are grateful for, you can gain clarity on what you want to have more of in your life, and what you can do without. HDMs can help you find out and focus on what really matters to you. Keeping a HDM list helps you learn more about yourself and become more self-aware. On days when you’re meh, icky and really bummed, or angry and grumpy at the world {yes, I get that way, too}, you can read through your list of HDMs to readjust your attitude and remember all the blessings in your life.

Identifying a Happy Day Moment can make you more mindful, helping you to become more grounded, making it easier to notice even more things you are grateful for! HDMs can help you feel more balanced and less thrown off by daily stress. You may notice that a lot more small, good things are happening – or maybe you’ll notice the small, good things that were already happening. Your gratitude might act as a beacon to good things and good people, drawing even more positive things to be grateful for to you. It can make you feel accomplished, even if it’s a relatively small accomplishment. We all need a win, no matter how big or small.

In case you’re wondering “What, exactly, will this practice, this habit, do for me?” – read on to learn about the potential benefits of the simple practice of being grateful and finding a Happy Day Moment.

Give this challenge of finding a daily Happy day Moment a chance. The common wisdom is that it takes three weeks to establish a new habit, so aim for at least three weeks of daily HDMs before making any judgments. The only thing you stand to lose if you don’t take to this HDM is a few minutes a day – hardly a huge loss!

Armed with these suggestions and encouragement, hopefully you’ll find it easy to begin and maintain your own habit of finding a HAPPY DAY MOMENT!

{Let me know how you’re doing! … Make a comment!}